“Feminist: a person who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes.” (Merriam Webster dictionary)
When I was little, I didn’t think anything of the fact my girl friends would put on their mums’ high heels and pretend to be princesses, and my guy friends would put on capes and pretend to be super heroes. I didn’t appreciate then that this was an early example of gender stereotyping setting girls’ limits and giving guys endless opportunity.
Then, when I was a pre-teen, my conception of feminism was negative. I always thought that feminists were people who thought women were superior to men. Additionally, I associated the word “feminism” with anger, rage and superiority; and, if I’m being honest, the word made me feel extremely uncomfortable. As a result, I didn’t proclaim myself as a feminist until relatively recently.
Although consciously, I declared that I wasn’t a feminist, my subconscious thought differently. I remember being thirteen and reading an article condemning Miley Cyrus (then most famous for her role in Disney series Hannah Montana) for being caught not wearing a bra while she got into a car outside her own home.
As I was reading this article, I realized that I was being forced to make a judgement. When you’re young, you’re so impressionable about what other people think, and it’s so easy to believe in someone else’s opinion when you haven’t really thought about something yourself. I could so easily have agreed with the author’s scathing view on how he thought Cyrus (then aged seventeen) should’ve known better. I could have agreed with his vitriolic assertion that she was ‘being a slut.’
Or, I could look at this situation in a different way. My way.
(Photo: "Both men and women should feel free to be strong" -
the author working with Habitat for Humanity to help build
a house for a family in Kenya)
So I thought: ‘If Miley Cyrus wants to be comfortable and feel stabbed by the underwire of her bra, what right has anyone, least of all a man, to criticize her for this? A man can wear whatever he likes under his shirt; why can’t a woman do the same? A man can take his shirt off and not be ‘slut-shamed’; why can’t a women do the same?’
At this point, I decided that a woman should be free to wear whatever she wants. Just like men are. So in my subconscious, I was a feminist. I was believing that men and women should be equal. However, consciously, I still proclaimed that I wasn’t a feminist as I still carried the word’s negative connotation.
However, when I was sixteen, my attitude towards the word ‘feminism’ changed. When Beyoncé’s new album came out, there was a powerful song called, ***Flawless. In the song, there is an excerpt of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s speech, ‘We should all be Feminists.’
In the clip, she states, “We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves feel smaller. We say to girls, ‘You can have ambition, but not too much’, ‘You should aim to be successful, but not too successful, otherwise, you would threaten the man’. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices, always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a system of joy, love and mutual support, but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors. Not for jobs or accomplishments, which I think could be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are. Feminist: the person who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes.”
Hearing this gave me the epiphany that I needed – my lightbulb turning on moment! Everything that I instinctively believed in – that men and women were and should be equal – was feminism; feminism was about gender equality, not feminine superiority or “man-hating”.
In Emma Watson’s ‘He For She’ speech, she perfectly summarises what being a feminist is truly about: “Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive. Both men and women should feel free to be strong...I think it is right I am paid the same as my male counterparts. I think it is right that I should be able to make decisions about my own body. I think it is right that women be involved on my behalf in the policies and decisions that will affect my life. I think it is right that I am afforded the same respect as men.”
Every word that Watson said resonated with me. Her speech made me feel comfortable with the word ‘feminist.’ Thanks to Watson, Adichie and Queen Bey herself, I can proudly say that I am a feminist because I believe in equality between men and women. How can anyone not?
However, sadly, I am not the only one with misapprehensions about what it means to be a feminist – as Watson stated, “My research has shown me that feminism has become an unpopular word. Women are choosing not to identify as feminists.”
Even though the word ‘feminism’ translates to ‘equality between the sexes’, I understand why some people, especially females, have doubts about the term.
As a young girl, I grew up with people who admired Germaine Greer. For those of you who don’t know her, Germaine Greer was one of the major voices of the feminist movement during the latter half of the twentieth century. Her book, The Female Eunuch, was released in 1970 and became an international best-seller, making her a household name.
In The Female Eunuch, Greer concludes that the ‘traditional’ suburban, consumerist, nuclear family represses women sexually, causing them to devitalize and making them, essentially, eunuchs. In a foreword added to the 21st anniversary edition, Greer said, “The freedom I pleaded for twenty years ago was freedom to be a person, with dignity, integrity, nobility, passion, pride that constitute personhood.”
Now, I still agree with Germaine Greer’s beliefs. I believe that her rationale at that time stemmed from the true meaning of feminism: equality. Nevertheless, that was the 70s and I wasn’t around during that time. Therefore, I experienced a completely different Germaine Greer.
When, more recently, Greer shared her controversial views on transgender women, they deeply disturbed me. She claimed that ‘trans women’ are not ‘real women’, adding, “I’m not saying that people should not be allowed to go through that (surgical) procedure, all I’m saying is that it doesn’t make them a woman.” Greer expanded: “Just because you wear a dress... it doesn’t make you a woman.” Her strong views on this subject became yet more upsetting when she stated, “If you’re a 50-year-old truck driver who’s had four children with a wife and you’ve decided the whole time you’ve been a woman, I think you’re probably wrong.”
When I first heard these comments, I was very confused – not to mention, disappointed. How can a woman who has spent the majority of her life fighting for the equality and liberation of women, deny transgender people the freedom for to be who they want to be? It’s because of her deliberately antagonistic expressing of her feminist views back in the sixties that people today are uncomfortable calling themselves feminists.
I believe that all women are real women, regardless of who they are, where they come from and what they’re born with. I don’t reject a transgender women’s identity because they are born with different reproductive parts as me. As a feminist – as a human – I respect and accept them because feminism isn’t just about female liberation; it’s about liberation for all.
But we still have a long way to go before we truly achieve full gender equality. In order to achieve equality between both sexes, we need to achieve sovereignty within the female sex group. As females, we need to call ourselves feminist. We need to understand the true definition of what that word means. We need to accept other women’s choices and identities. Most importantly, we need to support each other.
In 2017, Watson was slated by both men and women over wearing a “revealing” outfit in a photoshoot for Vanity Fair promoting her movie, Beauty and the Beast. Watson fired back at the imbecilic comments:
“Feminism is about giving women choice. Feminism is not a stick with which to beat other women with. It's about freedom; it's about liberation; it's about equality.”
I am a feminist, because I believe in equality between men and women. And, one day, I hope to live in a world where boys and girls can choose to play with dolls or GI Joes without judgement; just acceptance. I want this to be a world where both girls and boys can aspire to be superheroes.