International Women’s Day calls for people everywhere “to be bold for change,” a simple yet serious urge that can be gratified in infinite ways. But what does it mean to be bold? And what kind of change are we pushing towards?
Though everyone may have their own answers to these questions, I understand them the most clearly when remembering my paternal grandmother, Susanne Lebrija. I know - choosing my own grandmother as an inspirational woman doesn’t exactly make me the most unbiased writer. But she was much more than a family role model, or a person who spoiled all her loved ones until they were almost rotten. Though she was, in fact, both these things (and she loved spoiling us rotten), my grandmother was a woman I would admire regardless of our biological relationship. Sue Lebrija redefined the meaning of family. Not only did she strengthen the value of communion within the lives of her blood relatives, but she also turned every person she encountered into a family member of her own, always extending her love and support to anyone who would accept it.
In times of struggle, my grandmother drew strength from her optimism and compassion, never meeting an obstacle that she could not overcome, especially none that would impede her from helping other people.
For these reasons I truly admire my grandmother, recognizing her as a woman who believed firmly in solidarity, and I remember her every day as one of the most positive and influential figures in my life.
Born in New Jersey on March 23rd, 1947, Sue grew up as the oldest of four children. Followed by her three brothers, Sue would be the last woman born into her family for two straight generations. At eight years old, Sue moved with her family to Mexico, where she fearfully adopted both a new language and a foreign lifestyle. Though she later admitted this new environment had initially been a sort of nightmare, Sue immediately became involved in volunteer organizations such as the Girl Scouts, seeking comfort and refuge through charity. These humanitarian hobbies cultivated an interest that would later develop into a deep passion for social work. At eighteen years old, Sue had already completed three teaching experiences, ones she would later describe as “enlightening” opportunities that broadened her future.
At the mere age of nineteen, Sue married Javier Lebrija, whom she had met and fallen in love with as a young teenager. The young couple quickly started a family together, and Sue was a mother to five boys by the time she turned 28.
Her first pregnancy required Sue to pause her collegiate studies for financial and logistic reasons, but she would not let her incoming responsibilities impede her. Having mastered the organization and balance of her new responsibilities, Sue returned to community service shortly after the birth of her second son. She cofounded a clinic for local people in need, known as the Dispensario de Ayuda Social (DAS), where she described her role as a screener, physician’s assistant, social worker, psychologist, family counselor and therapist all in one. This clearly represents the type of person Sue was; not only organized and ambitious, but also selfless and devoted to others. Shortly after her election as president of the DAS, Sue was nominated to join the Mexico City Chapter of the Junior League, a world renowned and exclusive women’s organization “committed to promoting voluntarism, developing the potential of women and improving communities through the effective action and leadership of trained volunteers”. However, she decided to turn down the offer in order to continue at DAS, which she saw as the “neediest” of the two. Sue valued goodwill more than reputation and acted accordingly, putting others before her and evaluating situations based on logic and necessity. Eventually, the Junior League commended her hard work and commitment to her dispensary and named her the “1996 Volunteer of the Year.” Soon, all the skills Sue had polished as a teacher, volunteer, and family counselor were put into use through the education of her children. She strove to emphasize responsibility and accountability in her sons’ upbringing, setting a constant example through her dedication to her community.
She led a busy life, working the first half of the day and returning home only to continue her natural occupation as an involved mother. When I asked my uncles how they viewed Sue’s place as the only woman in a house full of men, one of them answered, “The fact that she was the only woman among men made her very, very happy” (Juan Lebrija). His younger brother, Eugenio, went on to say that she truly embraced her place in the lives of her men and hardly ever showed signs of struggle. The household’s demanding yet rewarding dynamic allowed Sue to grow along with her children, becoming even stronger and more responsible by leading and guiding the family she so lovingly cared for. Instead of resenting the social responsibilities bestowed on her as a mother, Sue transformed her housewife title into that of a queen, standing strong as the admirable matriarch of a large and busy family.
Sue thrived through her incessant work, not only managing her responsibilities but truly welcoming them as a source of personal fulfillment. As if her litter of five boys and the extended family she had assumed from her clinic were not enough to keep her busy, she eventually enrolled in courses on marriage, family, creativity, and assertion. This ambitious and driven attitude not only defined Sue as a leader, but also inspired those around her to persevere and strive to achieve their full potential. According to her fourth son, Eugenio, Sue
“was an incredibly giving person, always thinking about others, especially her loved ones. She lived her values and would always preach by example. [She] demonstrated leadership by working hard and with passion, regardless of her role [,and] always stood out by her extraordinary sense of commitment. Throughout her lifetime, [Sue] helped improve the lives of countless people and positively touched the hearts of so many. She is remembered and missed dearly.”
In a written document, Sue stated that she wished for others to primarily remember “That [she] loved God and [her] family above all else and that [her] life vocation was to help others.” Undoubtedly, Sue was known for and shaped by her faith. Most of the charitable activities she took part in were hosted by local churches, and she eventually participated as a minister in her church, where she became a local celebrity for her morals and dedication. To no big surprise, Sue’s sons and even her father claim that her biggest accomplishment was raising her family. The only one to vary slightly from this conclusion was her third son, my father, Carlos, who explained, “I think that her own response would be ‘my family.’ However, God was always above everything else in her life and she touched so many people’s lives in such a positive way that I think this is how her life should truly be measured.” I always considered my grandmother one of the most religious people in my life. She was very godly in every aspect, not only in her obvious faith but also in her kindness and unfailing love towards everyone she met. I learned from her to treat others with respect, not limiting this to my superiors but applying such principles to anyone I encountered. My great-uncle, John, was born with Downe Syndrome. As his sister, my grandmother modeled for me the way we should all love and care for all people, and she helped me see John as a remarkably affectionate man capable of many things. I believe my grandmother’s attitude towards her brother influenced my own patience and esteem towards anyone who may differ from me mentally, socially, culturally, or in any other way. As stated by Sue’s oldest son, Xavier, “Her attitude was bold and unrelenting when it came to doing the right thing.” I believe my own moral compass was strongly influenced by my grandmother’s mannerisms, and I often find myself basing my day-to-day actions on the honest principles she embodied.
Having separately asked Sue’s five sons to answer questions about their mother, I noticed
the repetition of two words through all their accounts: the fact that Sue was “always there,” not only for each of them but also for anyone in need. Patricio, her youngest son, stated that “she led by example, which is the only way to lead. People loved and followed her because she was true and consistent. She was unconditional. She thrived where there were people in need.” All four of his brothers shared a similar perspective, defining Sue’s prime environment one in which she could make a positive and helpful difference. Of course Sue shone as a leader, but her most particular attributes had less to do with her individually and more to do with the extent to which she impacted others, each time in a life-changing and valuable way.
In May of 2014, Sue had what my entire family thought was a stroke. A few days later, MRI results explained that the episode had in fact resulted from a cancerous tumor growing in her brain. Despite the upsetting news, comfort and hope were always present among each family member. Unfortunately, the situation worsened and Sue passed away less than two years later.
What still surprises me to this day is the way in which my grandmother handled her illness. Throughout the entire process of doctor’s appointments, radiation, and chemotherapy, she asked for nothing but prayers, and more often than not it was she who comforted her loved ones, sharing her optimism, faith, and love as the most reliable sources of solace.
The several months during which my grandmother battled this disease were easily some of the darkest times her family knew; not only for her biological relatives, but also for the myriad others whom she had let into her heart and undoubtedly taken a place in theirs. I am still amazed by the unwavering emotional strength she expressed until her final day. Amid her struggle, the family she so wonderfully established only grew stronger and closer. Her loved ones wanted to reciprocate her goodness of heart and thus maximized their presence in her life and in each others’.
In a world too frequently filled with chaos and corruption, the hope and compassion expressed by my grandmother are two of the boldest traits I can think of. By translating these attributes into acts of generosity, kindness, and faith, we are each capable of changing other people’s lives. My grandmother was a fundamental part of my life from the moment I was born until she passed away. But even now, as I continue to grow without her physical presence, I am strongly influenced by the person she was and by the character she modeled for all her children and grandchildren to cultivate.
This International Women’s day, I urge you all to be like Sue Lebrija. Recognize the power of conviction and the satisfaction of charity. Let your family be the people in your neighborhood and even strangers in need. Show your love constantly. Actively help others. And never think that something small won’t lead to change; because sometimes the simplest acts of kindness can make the biggest difference.